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SOOVIVERS

You Never Know.......
Articles Posted: 115  Links Seeded: 130
Member Since: 1/2009  Last Seen: 5/18/2012

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Lessons of a $618,616 death

Seeded on Sat Mar 6, 2010 9:21 AM EST
Read ArticleArticle Source: msnbc.com
health, health-care, cancer, insurance, death, medicare, cost, doctors, united-health-care
Seeded by Soovivers
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It was sometime after midnight on Dec. 8, 2007, when Dr. Eric Goren told me my husband might not live till morning. The kidney cancer that had metastasized almost six years earlier was growing in his lungs. He was in intensive care at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia and had begun to spit blood.

Terence Bryan Foley, 67 years old, my husband of 20 years, father of our two teenagers, a Chinese historian who earned his Ph.D. in his sixties, a man who played more than 15 musical instruments and spoke six languages, a San Francisco cable car conductor and sports photographer, an expert on dairy cattle and swine nutrition, film noir and Dixieland jazz, was confused. He knew his name, but not the year. He wanted a Coke.

Should Terence begin to hemorrhage, the doctor asked, what should he do?

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  • Public Discussion (10)
Soovivers

The question 'when is it time to quit?' trying to keep someone alive when death is inevitable has no definitive answer IMO. In this article the cost of keeping this woman's husband alive was not one that she had thought about until after he had died.

Then she began to see the health care dilemma. The cost of life vs the quality of life.

Looking back, memories of my zeal to treat are tinged with sadness. Should I have given up earlier? Would earlier hospice care been kinder? I hadn't believed Terence was going to die so I had never confronted any of those dilemmas. And I never let us have the chance to say goodbye.

I've faced that question to some extent myself and I don't know what I would want my family to do.

At the very end I know I don't want to be kept alive when there is no hope for normal life, but there is an in-between place where you want a few months or weeks of life for your loved one. What do you do?

I felt this was an interesting article and well worth reading although the entire article is quite long and is continued in BusinessWeek.

    Reply#1 - Sat Mar 6, 2010 9:37 AM EST
    Atsidi

    In my mind, it all comes down to the issue of quality of life. As long as I can function under my own power, I am OK with it. When it gets to the point of not being able to care for myself and no hope of getting any better, I am done.

    • 1 vote
    Reply#2 - Sat Mar 6, 2010 10:46 AM EST
    Soovivers

    Atsidi - I feel exactly the same way. I guess for me it would be the point that I knew there was no hope for a 'normal' life. Used to be this wasn't an issue but now technology can keep us alive for a much longer time.

    But I don't want to live a a life where there is none.

      Reply#3 - Sat Mar 6, 2010 11:19 AM EST
      Atsidi

      Exactly. Some of the technology is great, I have a stint that was used to repair a triple A over a year ago and was told with out it or some sort of repair, I wouldn't have more than a 50/50 chance of making it another year. Later I got to thinking that at 66, a 50/50 chance of living another year is pretty good odds. Anyway I have no symptoms of the triple A anymore, so when my time comes, it will likely be from something else. I don't think I am afraid of dying so much as I fear lingering and being a burden on others.

      • 1 vote
      #3.1 - Sat Mar 6, 2010 11:32 AM EST
      Soovivers

      I don't think I am afraid of dying so much as I fear lingering and being a burden on others.

      I'm with you on that too. When I was younger I remember the thought of my death scared me but seems like the older I get the less I fear it. Odd but true.

      BTW I'm glad to hear the heart stint worked out okay for ya.

      • 1 vote
      #3.2 - Sat Mar 6, 2010 11:36 AM EST
      Atsidi

      Actually, it wasn't a heart stint, it is a new procedure they have been using for a few years that places a stint in the abdominal aorta rather than opening up the patient to repair the aneurysm. I guess it is still considered experimental since it has only been around for about ten years. I consider myself to have something of an engineering mentality, and it looked like a lot better way to go about things than the old way. My mom had the regular operation and subsequently a stroke a few weeks later (operation related) and spent the last ten years or so of her life in a wheel chair living in an assisted living center. Crap as far as life quality as far as I am concerned.

      • 1 vote
      #3.3 - Sat Mar 6, 2010 11:56 AM EST
      Reply
      LifeTravler

      Dang, but the link didn't take me to the article. At any rate, I do basically understand the dilemma.

      My late husband died of pancreatic cancer. The oncologist told him that chemo would slow the progression of the disease, but that it would not cure it. He decided to go for it anyway.

      Well, poor darling, the chemo just made him sick as hell, and after everything else he had been through, he just didn't want to do it anymore. We sat down and talked about it. He told me that he felt guilty for wanting to stop the chemo because he wanted to be around for me longer. I told him that I hated seeing him sick as a dog all the time and that if he wanted to stop the chemo, he had my blessings. I told him that I'd rather see him spend his last days feeling like a human and at least able to enjoy himself as much as he could.

      He stopped the chemo. His last days were so much better for him and he did live out his life to the fullest.

      Our time together was shorter but filled with much more quality living.

      • 2 votes
      Reply#4 - Tue Mar 9, 2010 4:51 PM EST
      Soovivers

      Hi LT - sorry to hear about your husband. I'm glad his last days were better without the chemo. It is a really difficult decision to make and of course everyone must make up their own minds. IMO there is no one answer.
      With the new advances in medical it seems like sometimes people are kept alive way beyond what is reasonable. When my mom died they kept her on oxygen for a week (no food or water). She had already been diagnosed as brain dead from a stroke. It was awful.
      I'm glad you are a strong woman LT. I appreciate you being on NV so much so take care of yourself and don't work too hard.
      I tried the link above and it worked but who knows if it will work again.lols It was in Businessweek if you are interested in reading it all but it was seven pages long I think..

      • 2 votes
      Reply#5 - Tue Mar 9, 2010 7:16 PM EST
      Soovivers

      This link - darn it - I can't do anything right today.

      http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35726793/ns/business-your_retirement/?gt1=43001

      Wah...

      • 1 vote
      #5.1 - Tue Mar 9, 2010 7:22 PM EST
      LifeTravler

      Thanks, Soo!! I might get a break this weekend.

        #5.2 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 6:39 AM EST
        Reply
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